The Beauty of Small and Still

I struggle with stillness.

Come to yoga with me and you'll see what I mean. I stink at stilling my mind and body for extended periods, but I'm getting better.

I have morning quiet time, but find it easier to read and pray through my prayer list than sit and meditate on a thought or scripture. Am I afraid of falling back to sleep? Maybe. Am I afraid of what God might tell me to do if I get quiet and listen? Probably.

I don't want to be small (unless we are talking about clothing size).

Small makes me think of being unappreciated and disrespected. I don't want to be made to feel less than or belittled. I mean, who does? I want to be recognized for my contributions. I want to be a big deal in my little corner of the world.

However, I believe that lately God is telling me to get still and find joy in being small.

"Be still and Know that I am God." I have seen it quoted so many times on shirts, mugs, journals and such that I sometimes forget it is scripture (Psalm 46:10). These words are meant to bring calm and peace in troubled times. The first part of the verse is so powerful that we often leave out the rest of the verse, "I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth."

God will be exalted.

So I can be still. I can rest my mind and breathe, knowing that He has got everything under control. I can have the courage to listen for what He wants me to do, knowing that I am His work in progress. He's not going to give me a job to do and then leave me. He'll see it through to the end. And I can realize that what He might have for me to do at a precise moment...is nothing. What a gift to be able to rest and be restored by the One who made us all.

God will be exalted.

So I can be small. I sat out on our deck recently. It was an unusually warm January day and the sun was starting to set. Birds flew overhead, squirrels ran across the branches of the towering trees in our backyard and the moon was just starting to become visible. As I lay there (trying to practice stillness), I couldn't help but feel small...and it was good. God created a great big world and I am just one little part of it. I don't have to do it all for God to be pleased with me. Years ago, I heard Lysa Terkeurst speak and she said something to the effect of, "God has neither equipped or assigned me to carry someone else's load." That has always stuck with me. I am uniquely designed by God to do my (small)  part, not anyone else's. He shows up in my ordinary days, leading me and guiding me do my part, for His glory. He will be "exalted in the earth".

So today, I will practice being still and small.